My mental health

Mike The Diary 4 Comments

I might get a little deep on this one…

I’ve attended all sorts of talk therapy over the years with various professionals, to varying degrees of success. In 2010, one had a theory which blew my mind; I’d accepted my depression as normal… My “Class Clown” personality was simply a coping mechanism. It made sense then, it still makes sense today, when I’m with anyone else, I usually joke and carry on and I’m comfortable & having a good time. Once the dust settles and I’m alone again, I feel just that, alone. Some brutal honesty… I’ve always felt alone, always felt like I don’t fit in, and I always feel like people are judging me for whatever reason… Even with the amazing friends and family I have, I still feel alone.

We all have our highs and lows as we ride the rollercoaster that is life, I finally talked to my doctor and accepted a prescription to help me with the extreme lows that I was experiencing.  Several months in now, and I’m happy to report “so far, so good”. This is helping me greatly with the journey this time around.

I haven’t had any Pepsi (or any kind of carbonated drink) since May 22; I’m very proud of that.

I’m proud of that progress, but I’m beginning a food journal/diary to get a picture of what I’m consuming every day… I’ve struggled greatly with this task in the past, so I’m really not looking forward to the reality check it’s going to provide me… But it’s very necessary.

There’s a long road ahead, but I need to focus on small goals and take “baby steps”.  Thanks for all the support!

Till next time,
-Mike

Comments 4

  1. You got this, always here if ya need a buddy to help on this journey of getting healthy again as I am on the same roller coaster right now ….. Baby steps is right 😘

  2. Normal reactions (eg. isolation, anger, numbness) to abnormal situations (eg. Being bullied, abused, neglected) can be recognized. The catchphrase these days is “triggers”. Knowing your trigger is one part of the puzzle. Finding out the genesis of your trigger is another. I found that talking about my past with someone who shared it with me was a big help in uncovering lost memories. They remind that I’m more than a sum total of my experiences. Knowing why I behave/react the way that I do is like learning how to swim when you’re drowning. Getting to shore seems doable.

  3. You’ve got this! I’m with you Bro!

    You journey sounds similiar to my own journey so I understand. Once we get into this journey together and you start to consume food (rather than food like) you will notice your confidence will build, your body will change and your depression will disappear to the point where the meds are no longer req’d (thats a promise).

    Then you’ll become more mentally alert, your sense of smell will improve, your eyesight will improve, you’ll possess a sharper brain function and will be able to deal with situations without hesitation or worry.

    Let’s keep progressing forward together! You’ve got this!

    I look forward to next week’s entry.

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